To say that the last few years have been rough would be an understatement. We have struggled a lot financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Times have definitely been trying. But through all those trying times, James has been so strong and courageous. I am continually amazed at how these "little" things just dont get him down, or at least he doesnt show it too much. When we were nearing the end of schooling and thinking things were soon going to get better, James started turning in applications for a "permanent" job in photojournalism. 2 years later, he is till looking to find that dream job. FOr now though, he is happy hanging out and taking pictures whenever he gets the chance and he never complains about having to take some pretty crappy jobs to get by.
A few weeks ago we had yet another heartbreaking let down in the job category and I must say that I was crushed. Not for myself or for the lack of money, but I just felt like we had "put our time in" and deserved a break. He deserves a lot more than what he is getting right now and I just thought that maybe our time was up and the blessings should just start pouring in any moment now. I totally believe in enduring to the end and keep on moving and all that, but seriously can we find the end any time soon. That is just what I was feeling. doors kept slamming in our faces, opportunities just kept slipping through our grasps and for what, so we could remain poor and unable to support ourselves, blah, blah, blah. I guess I just had a mental breakdown of sorts and still am fighting my way out of it. but through it all, James has remained happy and strong. He did have some sadness at the lost opportunity of yet another job, but he has not crashed like I have. he even had to give a talk on the importance of prayer the Sunday after hearing he did not get the job and I must say that I dont think I could have done it. I was seriously doubting prayer at that point. I mean we prayed night and day, fasted, attended the temple, all of those things you are supposed to do and still did nto get the job. What more could we do? I would have found it very difficult to get up in front of the church and profess my testimony on prayer because at the moment, my testimony was lacking ALOT!
Anyway, things are looking up. He has struggled to find the job that fits just right and has yet to find it except for the Baseball photography, which is only during the summer. Through it all though, we have been blessed in so many other little ways and i need to remember those little things more often.
This past week he landed a job. Is it his "dream job"? No. But he is still very happy about it. it is an opportunity to be doing something he loves to do, shooting photographs! What can be better. It is also a job that he can "grow" with where moving up is an option. I am continually amazed at his wonderful attitude and his "just ducky" attitude. That is his favorite saying because he says he tries to look at stuff like a duck would and just let the "water run off his back." he doesnt let these things get him down. he just picks himself back up and tries again. I am proud of you hunny. Good luck with the new job and I pray that I may some day have a good attitude about life like you do. I have a lot to learn from you. thanks for putting up with my doldroms lately. LOVE YA!
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