Last night was the Adult session of Stake Conference, which I must admit that I have never gone to before. Yesterday was Abi's birthday and I was totally not planning on going. I admit that even forgot about the meeting. About 6 p.m. I came and checked my facebook account and saw a status update from a friend about being a speaker at the meeting and so on. This reminded me and I began to think, maybe I should go and see what is said. I was wishy-washy for a bit and by 6:45 I decided I should go and threw on a skirt and shirt, and put my hair in a pony. I still even had a Tinker Bell tattoo on my face from Abi's birthday festivities that day. I just felt I needed to be there. Boy am I glad that I decided to go. It is probably the most spiritual meeting I have been to in a very long time.
The theme for the meeting was "one by one." The meeting started off with a member of the stake presidency talking about a recent talk by Elder Eyring that spoke how he wrote down instances where he felt the hand of the Lord in his life. These are mostly small moments we dont even realize when they happen. The meeting went on to talk about how the hand of the Lord has been present in our lives in an individual way?
The meeting then turned to 4 members of the stake who have struggled in some way with some major trials. One was a recent convert who talked about decisions that he has made in his life and he can break them down into his pre-Christ decisions and post-Christ decisions. He talked about his early 20s when he did not "have the influence of Christ" in his life and he made his decisions on his own, for his own good, and to make him happy. He made some pretty rough decisions and actually had a major gambling addiction that was hard to overcome. After he came to know and understand Christ better, his decisions began to change. he started to seek guidance with the Lord rather than make these decisions on his own. he became happier, made better decisions, and was able to change his life.
The next speaker was a young mother whose husband is currently deployed in Afghanistan. She talked about the "tender mercies" she has seen. One story was when her children were all sick with fevers and she could not for the life of her find a thermometer. She was overwhelmed with the sickness of 3 kids, alone, missing her companion. She said a quick prayer and asked Heavenly Father for help. Her neighbor called later that afternoon to ask if she could borrow an ingredient to a recipe. She said yes and the neighbor came over to find her bedraggled, tired, and overwhelmed. The neighbor asked if she was okay and she said yes, but the kids were all sick and she was just so frustrated because she could not find a thermometer. The neighbor reached into her coat pocket and withdrew a thermometer and stated "that is so funny. On my way over I put my coat on and reached into my pocket and found this. I dont know how it got there and I was going to put it away when I got home, but here you take it!" How amazing. She spoke on many other "tender mercies" that she has had and continues to have of people hepping and taking care of her while she is working through her trial.
the next speaker spoke on loosing a few people close to him. One a very close friend at work who ended up taking his own life and the confusion that caused. Being so close to someone during the day at work, but not really knowing him. Another loved on he lost was his sister who was a music/band teacher. She died as the bus her group was on lost control and went off the road. She was in the front and tried to step in to correct the bus back on the road, but was unable to and was thrown from the bus. She was much loved by her "family" of students. He talked about the struggle of working through these tragedies and how Christ was by his side to love and support him the whole way.
The last speaker was a young woman who spoke about her few years spent in prison after she caused a fatal car accident. This was an amazing talk on the strength a person can have with Christ by her side. I was so impressed by her attitude towards life and her "never give up" spirit. Many things she said brought me to tears, but I will always remember a scripture she quoted. At one point after the accident she recalls being mad at the Lord for "doing this to her." "Why did you let this happen?" I remember her saying she kept asking God. "I am a good person, why is this happening to me?"
It is so amazing how the Lord works. I do not know why I suddenly decided to go to that meeting, but I am so glad I did. Why? because these are the same questions I have been asking myself lately. "Why are these things happening to me? I am a good person. My family is a good family! My husband and I are so done with these struggles, why cant you just let us get the blessings we want?" These are all questions that have been going through my mind so often over the last few weeks. This last speaker quoted D&C 122:7 "if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son (or daughter), that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be fore thy good." that scripture along with her story and some other things she said really hit home with me.
All of these people spoke of the way the Lord carried them and taught them and helped them or is helping them through these trials. All of these stories helped me to understand where I am in my life and the things I need to do to get out of this "funk" that I am in. I need to look for the tender mercies, open my eyes to the instances when the Lord is present in my life in an individual way. I want to understand more how the Lord has manifested himself to me as an individual. These are the things I need to focus on. So here are just a few that I can think of right now.
Life has been a struggle for us as of late, that is no surprise, but through all the "bad" there has also been good. Our van broke down a few months back. This leaves us with just one car to get us to and from everything, but this car does not fit the whole family. thankfully, my parents have stepped in and they are letting us use their extra car. This car also does not fit the whole family, but between the two cars, we can all get somewhere if need be. For the most part, we only ever have to go in halfsies, except for church and then we take two cars. It is a pain, but it is what it is and for now it is working. Plus, this is such a wonderful blessing for my parents to be able to help us in this way. Without their extra car, we would not be able to make it through this trial at all.
Another "tender mercy" that I know is our neighbor Mary. With 6 kids, you can imagine that we go through milk like there is no tomorrow. Probably 1 gallon or more per day. Mary works for her church collecting donations from local stores for the church's food bank. Well, they always have a bit extra, so for the last month our fridge has never been empty of milk and usually over flowing with 4 or 5 gallons. It comes at a time when we had run out of WIC coupons for the month and other ways to get any milk in our fridge. This is a small thing, but definitely a very BIG thing for our family.
The biggest way I think the Lord has shown me lately that he loves me is through my wondeful husband, James. The previous blog post talks about that in more detail, but to re-iterate, his strength and love through all of this is an awesome example to me. I am continually amazed at his good spirit and attititude towards life. I love his dearly and thank the Lord for making me get up that day 15 years ago and getting my picture taken (when I really did not want to, but felt that I just needed to go). I know why I needed to go know and I am thankful for the Lord in my life and his nudges for me to keep doing the right thing.
there have been so many other little moments that it is hard to name them all. Times when I felt alone and I got a phone call from a friend, or when I had a miscarriage and was having hard time dealing with those emotions, etc. All of these times are experiences that I am grateful for. They have taught me to be stronger, to be closer to others, to be friendlier, or whatever. I am truly grateful for the Hand of the Lord in my life!
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